What I wished I had known ten years ago.....

This is meant to be a comical posting, although somewhat depressing in my own respect ;0) Seriously, how funny is life? And how many times have we said, "If I would have known what I know now years ago, life would be different....!?!".

You might be asking, "What brought this on?". Well, I will tell you.....FINANCES!! LOL, yes, blessed money!! I can't stand money, however, due to life's rules, ya can't live without it.

So, if I had known I would be here ten years ago....I would have:

1- Just went into nursing when I was a high school grad. Seriously, with my grades back then, I could have gotten into the program, and two years later, been working as an RN... My dad tried to get me to apply right then...who knows, maybe I would have liked it? Though, I must admit, I was pretty immature and clueless, and I probably would have flunked out anyways....but that's not the point!!

2- I would have listened to people around me who suggested ultrasound in the first place. My problem was that I was SO SET on nursing. I had blinders on and I wouldn't accept an alternative.....in my book, the more I tried and persevered, I would eventually get accepted, right? Well, reality check, even though you might kill yourself trying to get into the program, unless you have the GPA, you will NEVER get into the program.....it took me awhile to face the facts, and boy was it a huge slap in the face. What? Hard work isn't enough?

3- Even though I enjoyed it all, and still kind of have a soft spot for cosmetology..... I wish I had NEVER done that. My dad was right....He's always right!?!! If I hadn't done it, and instead realized my passion was really Radiology, I would have roughly $10,000 still in my savings account (yes, blessed cosmo is that expensive!!), and I would have graduated by now, yeah, go figure that one out.... But it was a fun time, and I learned more about people....

4- Maybe I should have just applied to the nursing program and foregone a mission... According to my advisor, I had everything ready and could have had a good chance in getting in. And even though it was just 18 months later, the program prequisites had changed, and it was even more competitive. Once again, 2 years later and I would have been a RN....But then I am so glad that I went on a mission.....and I met some truly WONDERFUL people that changed my life. Yes, there are those times when I wish I could have worked harder, but all in all, it was the most LEARNING and REWARDING 18 months of my life. I learned more about myself, my strengths and weaknesses, and how much more I needed to open up to others. I learned how to love people that were complete strangers, and to see the good in them. I learned more about hard work, obedience, relying on the Lord, and seeing His Hand in all things.....Yes, I have a huge spot in my heart for the California Roseville people.

5- And last of all, but the main reason why I even got on this tangent.....I wish that I would have studied about financial aid, and realized that I will NEVER understand how the government works!?! What in the world!?!! Seriously the biggest frustration that I have is that I have made too much money to receive any financial aid (dang!! I should be rich!! And yet I am not....), but yet I don't make enough to pay for school. I have worked my tail off making sure that I NEVER went into debt.....I had to borrow some money for Cosmo school and it killed me to do it, but I worked like crazy, paying it all off within 6 months.....but now, because I worked two jobs the first half of 2008 (remember, they go off of tax returns), and then overtime the remaining of the year, I can't get a grant from the government for my program. But then again, I am so grateful I am not in debt, (until this next semester with hopefully a student loan that will go through), and that I have had a job that I love!! It's not very often that you can find a job that brings fulfillment in your life, works around your school schedule, and the coworkers are absolutely fantastic to associate with!! So, even though I am ready to pull my hair out with this blasted student loan and figuring out how I am going to work, go to classes, and fulfill my clinical hours and yet find time to sleep an hour here and there, I am grateful for everything that I have.

So I guess that is what I am trying to say.....for all of you, and hopefully I am not the only one, that have thought, I wish I would have known that ten years ago. Just think of all the adventures and journeys that we would have missed if we would have known our failures ahead of time? Oh, and not to mention the excitement when we reach our goals and experience the successes!? Isn't it worth it? Because, at least for me, it's during those times of uncertainty that I rely heavily on my Heavenly Father, and plead for His help and inspiration. And it's during these times that I see His merciful hand in my life because I am truly humble and teachable at these moments. And it's also during these times that I have been strengthened. I think that's what the Lord meant for me when He said, Mosiah 32:15 "And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord did strengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord." Alma 37:6 "...that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise". So as my sister likes to quote Pres. Monson, "Enjoy the Journey" and I'm trying to do just that. And I would like to wish all of you, that as we head into the New Year, that you might find joy in your journey and hope in the road ahead.