Miracles...

My sister politely reminded me that I have not posted in a while! Sorry! But honestly, I have had a horrible month, as far as pessimism goes, so I didn't dare post! Why? It is spring, and spring always gets me excited for new beginnings. But for some reason....but I think that I am out of that funk!! And so, I am posting!

First of all, I would like to say that miracles do happen. Being Krystell, I am always changing. I decided to wave off the rejection of the Ultrasound program and take Anatomy, Physiology, and Algebra again to better my grades. I am also trying to get a hold of the department to see what else I can improve, but they are ignoring me, but I won't get into that! Therefore, I would have to go back to school in the summer to be done in time, which also means that my work schedule at the hospital wouldn't work, and I would definately have to quit my salon job. So, after a lot of thought, prayer, and fasting, I knew that this was what I had to do. This past fast sunday, which was March 30, I didn't feel like I had an answer one way or the other. Just the same feeling of, it is my choice. However, I was stressed out about working, and going to school, how would I do it all? But then I came to work at the hospital, and I found out that a girl was quitting, and she just happened to work some of the shifts I needed! So, long story short, I am able to change my schedule to Sunday, Thursday, and Friday nights each week, and go to school Mon-Thurs! And I quit my salon job, but the family I live with has a salon in their basement that I can use for my clients!! So I felt a wave of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for making miracles happen for me, as undeserving as I am, especially lately. But I feel it as a huge hug that says, "I still love you, and want you to succeed. So pick up your feet and move forward!!"

I know, I know, you all are thinking, "you know Krystell, she always changes her mind". Which is true! But considering that I love so many things, and just needed to discover new things about myself, my goals, my talents, and my weaknesses. The major reason for giving up nursing, besides rejection after rejection from programs, was that I lack confidence in myself, knowledge, and decision making, which is crucial for a nurse. I felt a huge sick void in my stomach whenever I thought about that responsiblity, the ability to do my best and move one without suffering through hind sight. Do I make any sense? Oh well, so I knew I could not be a nurse. But through 3 years of working in the hospital, I still have a love for the medical field. It wasn't until I was talking to a great friend and nurse that I even thought about ultrasound. So I believe it will be a perfect fit! And I can still do cosmetology on the side, because I love doing that too.

Back to the main thought of this post. I wanted to talk about miracles. I think that it is a hard thing to grasp, and I am still trying to understand and know that it will be an eternal precept. Sometimes things work out just how we have hoped and prayed for. Other times, there seems to be an unrelenting silence. Then there are those times that our worst fears stare us back in the face...I have come to find a truth in the words given in the movie "Charly", yes a movie!! When Sam is talking to his father and eating cookies...After they find out that Charly has terminal cancer and there are no other treatments, and Sam says something to the effect of "What good is faith if it is just something to fill up Sacrament meetings. But when you really need it..." And then his father says, "And when you really need it, the pain will dull to an ache, and you won't give into that void." I have found this to be so true, mostly through the testimony of my family members. Yes, many things happen that seem too much to bear, and our hearts are torn apart. But because of the eternal promises our Father and Brother have made with us, if we endure, all of the pain begins to ebb. Life takes on a whole new pallet of colors, we begin to understand how precious those eternal covenants are, we recommit ourselves to be with Them again, and the painting takes our breath away. That is the miracle of the Atonement. That no matter what happens in this life, that there is so much more in store for us. We have a Savior that not only suffered for the pains of our sins, but also for the heartaches we feel in this life. And that we, with our Father, are strong enough to endure together.